2012, my year of change.
I should have been careful what I wished for. Good change, forward momentum, that sort. Not world crashing down, deep purpled anger, life perspective twisting ugliness. 37 1/2 years of being able to find the good in most anything washed away in one weekend.
I've held off writing because I had nothing good, nothing pretty, nothing funny to say. Who would want to read this morose, self serving crap? Thus the new blog with the hope that I can write and perhaps get outside of myself, this circumstance. For even a moment.
I'm being purposefully vague. It doesn't matter really, does it? I'm not yet ready to share with anyone what I consider a deep humiliation. An accounting of self. A verification of all the bad things I've ever felt, or said about myself.
My friend Amy says I should. That it is not talked about outloud enough. That people need to hear and that I would be a good messenger. But at this point, I care too much about what everyone thinks. I can only imagine the whispers.
Maybe in the future.
For now, hello. Hello to a new day where I try to move forward. I try to remember what I love about life. About myself.