Wednesday, March 21, 2012

My Year of Change

2012, my year of change. 

I should have been careful what I wished for.  Good change, forward momentum, that sort.  Not world crashing down, deep purpled anger, life perspective twisting ugliness.  37 1/2 years of being able to find the good in most anything washed away in one weekend. 

I've held off writing because I had nothing good, nothing pretty,  nothing funny to say.  Who would want to read this morose, self serving crap?  Thus the new blog with the hope that I can write and perhaps get outside of myself, this circumstance.  For even a moment.

I'm being purposefully vague.  It doesn't matter really, does it?  I'm not yet ready to share with anyone what I consider a deep humiliation.  An accounting of self.  A verification of all the bad things I've ever felt, or said about myself.

My friend Amy says I should.  That it is not talked about outloud enough.  That people need to hear and that I would be a good messenger.  But at this point, I care too much about what everyone thinks.  I can only imagine the whispers.

Maybe in the future.

For now, hello.  Hello to a new day where I try to move forward.  I try to remember what I love about life.  About myself.   


504Mgnola said...

You should write about it, because you have a powerful voice. You have a voice you need to hear. You have the strength to face things head on, and you have the courage to say to the world, "This is what happened, this is what I am going through, and if you walk just a moment in my shoes, you will see that I am doing the best that I can, and I'm not the only one, there are a whole lot of people out there just doing the best that they can, too."

Stand strong in your truth. Stand strong in your circumstances. Stand strong in knowing that no matter what anyone else says, you are doing the best you can, with what you can, under these horrible circumstances.

Be that voice to comfort those that feel that they are alone, those who can't make their voices heard because they don't have the strength that you do.

Tiffany Todd said...

Have I told you how much I love you lately, girl? I do. Lots.

504Mgnola said...

Back at you :) A million times over.